Breathe In and Let in the Light

The other day while on my way to work,
I was listening to music on shuffle, like I usually do,
when this song, performed by Kenneth Cope came on:

Breathe In Me

You breathe in me
And I'm alive
With the power of your holiness
You breathe in me
And you revive
Feelings in my soul
That I have laid to rest

Chorus:
So breathe in me
I need you now
I've never felt so dead within
So breathe in me
Maybe somehow
You can breathe new life
In me again

I used to be
So sensitive
To the light that leads
To where you are

Now I've acquired
These callouses
With the darkness of
A cold and jaded heart

Chorus:
So breathe in me
I need you now
I've never felt so dead within
So breathe in me
Maybe somehow
You can breathe new life
In me again

[written by Michael W. Smith]

I got a little teary eyed when I heard it, especially the chorus.
Those words just really expressed the way I've been feeling lately
and how I want to be able to feel again.
I just can't seem to figure out how yet.

Of course, I was just one station away from my work,
so I had to pull myself together, so I wouldn't arrive at work all weepy.

I used to not be able to read books while on a bus or train
without feeling sick, but now I can for some reason.
Which is good, because I've been on a reading kick lately
and have a whole lot of books to read.

I'm currently reading this book



It's a continuation of Pride and Prejudice,
in the form of letters written by Elizabeth Bennet Darcy
to her friends and family.

:::Spoiler Alert:::

In this book, Elizabeth & Darcy lose a young child.
Almost a year after their daughter's death,
Elizabeth writes the following to her sister, Jane.

..."letting the light into our lives again,
spending more time in the present
than in the unalterable past,
and looking to the future with hope and optimism."

That just really stuck out to me.
I want to feel that way!

I also found the following poem in the book,
as part of a letter Elizabeth writes to Darcy.


Light Shining Out of Darkness
by William Cowper

God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never-failing skill,
He treasures up his bright designs,
And works His sov'reign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust him for his grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding ev'ry hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flow'r.

Blind unbelief is sure to err,
And scan his work in vain;
God is his own interpreter,
And he will make it plain.

Some of the verses of this poem were familiar,
but I didn't know the whole poem or who wrote it.
The words brought me some comfort on a really challenging day.

Now I just need to figure out how to put
all these thoughts and words into action,
so I can feel better about who I am, where I am and what I'm doing.