13 Years Ago....

13 years ago, I awoke to the phone ringing.

I remember thinking,
"Who would be calling this late? It must be a wrong number or prank."
It was actually my cousin, Shannon.
She was calling to tell me that Grandpa Gerlach had died.
I can still remember the shock and disbelief I felt when I heard those words.
He wasn't even sick or anything.
And Grandma was in New York, for her sister's funeral.
I ended up quietly crying myself back to sleep.

The next morning, was spent telling family, friends and co-workers the news.
Next, was planning how we would all get to Utah for the funeral.
[We rented a mini-van, driving through the cold, snowy Sierras, on our way.]

At the funeral, we saw many family members,
it had been years and years since we last saw the majority of them.
I remember wishing that we could have all gotten together 
under happier circumstances.

Before the actual funeral, there was a viewing.
While I was in the room, visiting with family and friends there,
I just couldn't make myself look over at the casket.
I didn't want to see my Grandpa like that.

During the funeral, I looked around and saw people crying.
My cousin, Shannon, in particular, was having a really hard time.
I almost felt like something was wrong with me, because I wasn't crying.

My Grandpa loved to sing.
It's one of the things I remember most about him.
Being at their house for Sunday dinner and my Grandpa singing hymns.

Towards the end of the funeral, we sang "How Great Thou Art",
which was one of my Grandpa's favorite hymns.

When Christ shall come,

With shouts of acclamation,

And take me home,

What joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow

In humble adoration

And there proclaim,

"My God, how great Thou art!"

Then sings my soul,

My Savior God, to Thee,

How great Thou art!

How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,

My Savior God, to Thee,

How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!

As we were singing that last verse, I just lost it.
The reality of it all just hit me...my Grandpa had gone "home."
To this day, I still can't get through that song without getting all teary eyed.

I remember the last time I saw my Grandpa.

It was November 10, 1997.
I had been in Utah visiting with family.
My cousin Jared, had his mission farewell and I went along to drop him off
at the MTC to prepare for his mission to Santiago, Chile.
[The last picture I have of my Grandpa was taken while we were at the MTC.]

This was before my "flying days" so I took the train to get there and back.
The train back to California left SLC, at about 2:00am or so.
Usually my Uncle David was the one who would drop me off at the train station.
But for a reason I can't recall, my Grandpa was the one to take me
to the train station this time around.

When we got to the train station,
we hugged and said our goodbyes and he gave me a kiss,
a kiss on the lips, which is something I recalled as a child,
I tried my best to avoid.
It never even entered my mind that this would be
the last time I would see him.
That it truly was a goodbye kiss.
But, I often wonder if he knew it would be...

Just like in this photo of me on my 8th birthday,
I know that my Grandpa is still looking over my shoulder, watching over me.

I love and miss you Grandpa!