A long year

I can't believe that I have been here in Dallas for a little over a year now.
It feels like it's been sooooo much longer than that!
That it has been one of the most difficult years of my life, hasn't helped matters any.

One of my biggest problems is homesickness to the EXTREME!!!
I don't think a day has gone by where I haven't thought of "home" in some shape or form.
Person = my cutie nephew, my ward family, friends, my "kids", my brothers...
Place = Denkinger Chapel, MECC, just about everywhere on Clayton Road, San Francisco...
Thing = Mt. Diablo, the foothills...even if they're yellow instead of green, BART, the ocean...
[And the list could go on and on....and on...]

I've lost track how many times I've gotten weepy from it!

I've been in my own place for six months now and it still doesn't quite feel like home.
It still feels very temporary. I think one of the main reasons why is because there are
very few things that are familiar and feel like home to me.
I'm surrounded by all "new" furnishings...which in most cases would be nice,
but it hasn't quite set in that their mine, and not someone else's belongings.

Life just seems to be a constant struggle these days.
Sometimes I feel like all the joy has been sucked out of my life.
When I feel that way, I try so hard to focus on the blessings I do have,
without dwelling on the things that I don't have.
But, it usually feels like the negatives constantly outweigh the positives!
[And apparently my "compare" switch is broken, because I can't seem to turn it off!]

I had someone ask me what was the most fun thing I've done since I've been here...
and I couldn't think of anything! How sad is that?
[Actually the most fun I've had the past year didn't even happen in Texas,
it was my trips to Southern California and Missouri.]

I'm hoping and praying things will come together.
One day...some day.....soon!